<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>At Least I'd be of use by FallingApplesHurt</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482665">At Least I'd be of use</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingApplesHurt/pseuds/FallingApplesHurt'>FallingApplesHurt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dancing and Fighting with Fire [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Based off the song Boreas, Childhood, Crying, Gen, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), sorry I didn’t mean to scare people- hes not suicidal, there are NO suicidal thoughts- Tommy sits on a roof</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:01:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingApplesHurt/pseuds/FallingApplesHurt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone else in his family was able to provide something, expect Tommy <br/>He was a drain of resources <br/>He was a burden</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dancing and Fighting with Fire [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>154</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>At Least I'd be of use</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy was laying on the floor, neglecting his homework. He knew that he should at least start on it but he couldn’t focus, everything was distracting him today, the mice in the alley, the neighbors fighting above them, the chilly wind that pierced through his thin jacket and uniform.</p>
<p>He was racking his brain for ideas, any ideas, he wanted to do something useful, help out in some way. Grumbling to himself, homework didn’t help out the family but for some reason he still had to do it.</p>
<p>In another attempt he rolled over and opened his backpack, pulling out the math worksheet, the numbers and symbols swirled and scrambled around in his brain. 

Why did he have to learn this? It won’t help him in real life, neither Wilbur or Techno knew super complicated reading or math or science or anything like that and they were okay- Phil even admitted that he didn’t use that stuff in his job and he was a doctor! If he didn’t need that kind of math as a doctor then why did Tommy need it?</p>
<p>Then he finally had an idea.</p>
<p>He pushed the paper away and sat up, Wilbur and Phil were still out but Techno was sitting on the couch, reading a book, at least he was when Tommy got home.</p>
<p>Stepping out of his and Wilbur’s room, Tommy jumped on the couch next to Techno, who’s eyes flickered up briefly.</p>
<p>“Teach me how to fight.” Tommy said, sitting on his knees, Techno didn’t even look up.</p>
<p>“No. You’re a child.”</p>
<p>“I’m serious, I want to learn how to fight so I can do those duels like you do.” Tommy said, staring at Techno. Techno closed his book and looked Tommy in the eyes, “How do you know about those?”</p>
<p>“I’m just incredibly observant,” Tommy said, almost matter-of-factly, Techno raised an eyebrow, staring him down.</p>
<p>“I figured out bits and pieces and then bugged Wilbur until he slipped up,”  He confessed, not ashamedly, Techno sighed and rubbed his temples, he stayed like that for a few moments, considering his<br/>
options.</p>
<p>“I’m not teaching you how to fight-”</p>
<p>“Come on!” He just wanted to help out.</p>
<p>“Let me finish, I’ll show you self defense tactics and self defense tactics only, under a few conditions; you cannot tell anyone about the duels, under any circumstances-”</p>
<p>“Why?” Tommy interrupted, Techno groaned, “Come on! Tell me or I’ll tell Tubbo!”</p>
<p>“Don’t even joke about that,” Techno said sharply, he paused, voice softening, “You can’t tell anyone about them because,” he licked his lips nervously, “They are technically illegal.” </p>
<p>“Oh,” Tommy deflated slightly, he chuckled lightly, then laughed a little louder, “Oh, Oh! They are illegal! I thought you were gonna say something about murder!”</p>
<p>“I’m ignoring that,” Techno said, “Listen, you cannot tell anyone about the duels and don’t go around showing off the defense moves, they are strictly for defense only-”</p>
<p>“What if I show them off anyways?” Tommy teased, biting his tongue through a grin, Techno rolled his eyes fondly.</p>
<p>“Then you better be ready to use them,” He cracked his knuckles, Tommy laughed nervously, he would never admit it but he found Techno to be a little scary. Red eyes, lean muscles, and scars that he never explained, Tommy knew he could do some serious damage and he hadn’t even seen him fight! Subconsciously Tommy also knew that Techno was a big nerd that got invested in weird books and cheesy radio shows but it took awhile to get to know that side of him.</p>
<p>The anxiety and frustration started seeping back into his skin, searing and shrinking it until it felt like he couldn’t breath.</p>
<p>“I want to go to the duels-”</p>
<p>“Absolutely not, the crowd is no place for a kid-”</p>
<p>“No, I want to fight in the duels, for money, like you do, I’m serious.” Techno looked at him and Tommy stared him down, mouth in a thin line.</p>
<p>“No.” Techno said firmly, red eyes piercing Tommy’s pale blue. Tommy’s chest felt tight. </p>
<p>“Come on Techno, school is useless, I could actually help out by doing them, it’d be better for everyone-”</p>
<p>“You can help out by staying in school,” Techno cut him off, “Enjoy your childhood, hang out with Tubbo, play, do whatever kids do, don’t worry about it, we’re doing just fine.” Techno waved his hand dismissively, opening his book back up.</p>
<p>Frustration wrapped its thick tendrils around his throat and made him want to scream, he wanted to blow up and yell and pull out his hair. They weren’t fine, he wasn’t stupid, he heard his older brothers talking in hushed desprate whispers. He had seen Phil sitting at the table late at night, papers scattered everywhere with his hands in his hair, trying to see if they could float another bill or if they could find cheaper options for dinner.</p>
<p>He saw the smaller portions the others had while his portions had gotten bigger, Techno claimed to not be hungry, Wilbur said he didn’t like the food, Phil just smiled and told him to eat it. He was growing, they said, he needed it.</p>
<p>Tommy felt like such a drain, going to school cost money, his uniform and books and bag cost money, everything he did cost money.</p>
<p>Money they didn’t have.</p>
<p>His chest hurt everytime he got something he could do without, like new shoes, the old ones had some holes and were scuffed but they worked just fine, he didn’t really need the new ones.</p>
<p>He was scared they’d get kicked out of their shitty apartment, scared everything they’d worked for would be gone, scared that one duel would go to far and Techno wouldn’t come home, that Wilbur would disappear like his parents did, that Phil wouldn’t take a break until he broke.</p>
<p>He feared they’d resent him.</p>
<p>All of the extra food and money spent on someone who made their lives more difficult,someone someone who didn’t help provide, on someone who drained their time with stupid questions and ideas, </p>
<p>Someone who could barely pass his math class, someone like him.</p>
<p>	He desperately wanted to feel useful, all his brothers provided something, Techno did the duels and chores, Phil was a doctor and got consistent pay and Wilbur had random odd jobs of some sort while Tommy did nothing.</p>
<p>	He was a drain of resources.</p>
<p>	But he couldn’t tell Techno that, he couldn’t tell any of them. He couldn’t speak or everything would burst out of him, instead he turned and went back to his room, going back to laying on the floor.</p>
<p>	He put his math work back in his backpack.</p>
<p>	Tommy was quiet for the rest of the night, only saying a few things about school at dinner, Phil tried to ask him about his day in a ditch effort to get him to talk but came up empty handed.</p>
<p>	After dinner Tommy climbed the rusty latter on the side of their apartment building, then, jamming his feet in the grooves and cracks of the wall, just like he’d seen Phil do, he hosed himself onto the<br/>
roof.</p>
<p>	Standing on the cold brick he looked at the clear night sky. The moon was big and bright, casting icy light over the land, the wind was blowing so hard it threatened to knock him over so he sat down.</p>
<p>	He wrapped his arms around himself, he wasn’t wearing a jacket. Suddenly his chest burned and everything came crashing down. Hot tears boiled in his eyes, stinging against the frigid wind.</p>
<p>	He wanted to be useful, to help and provide for his brothers like they did him, he wanted Phil to be able to take a break, for Wilbur to have a better guitar, for Techno to not fight-</p>
<p>	He wanted to not be a burden.</p>
<p>	He burdened the people that had no reason to take him in, they’d resent him eventually, he knew it, and that thought alone caused him to choke on a sob.</p>
<p>	He just wanted to be of use.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiiiii <br/>Have a good period of existence in the universe!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>